Canoe Believe It?

A memoir about a memorable Boy Scout camping trip our son, Jeremy, and I went on… back in the day.

Shove Off – A Memoir

Ernie Stricsek©

April 2, 2024

     “It’s a lazy, meandering creek. You should have no troubles,” said the Scoutmaster about the upcoming camping and canoe excursion. 

     “Yes!” exclaimed the Assistant Scoutmaster, “Don’t worry! A piece of cake!”

     They were trying to allay my fears. It’s not that I was inexperienced with paddling a canoe, I had done so many times. However, my experiences were on ponds and lakes that I was familiar with. Places that were typically placid and where I didn’t have to navigate swift and unpredictable currents. 

     “How about kayaks? Will kayaks be available? I’d feel more comfortable steering a kayak on a river.” I asked.

     The Assistant Scout Master shook his head and answered me in a defensive tone, “IT’S NOT a river. It’s a stream. There are kayaks there. If you want to use one, I’m sure you can.” 

     His peevish response took me somewhat aback, but my unease dissipated when I learned that our son, Jeremy, and I could use kayaks. The good news was further enhanced by the prospect of Jeremy earning a kayaking merit badge along with the cooking merit, which was the main purpose of the weekend excursion.

     Four days before the camping trip, it began to rain. And it continued to rain until the morning of the day we were to leave on our trip. We arrived at the campsite on Friday night and had to erect tents and build campfires in the dark. Saturday morning, we awoke to a beaming sun and cloudless sky. After a quick breakfast, we made the short drive to the launch site of our mariner adventure. The torrential downpours had transformed the “meandering” creek into a fast-moving sluice of water. Also, there were zero kayaks available. I asked if it was safe enough to embark on the rapids. The canoe concession guy pointed to the sharp bend the creek made and told us it became calmer after making the turn. “You guys better shove off, you’re falling behind the other scouts,” he urged.

    Jeremy and I entered the first bend and the current drove us into a fallen tree. We were on the creek for less than a minute before we were in the creek. This was the first of seven unplanned dips in a body of water which the name of has been permanently blocked from my memory. The creek alternated from calm spots to racing rapids, especially on the numerous bends. People gathered on the shoreline at especially challenging turns to make sport of those unskilled in navigating such turns. Like us. 

    As we neared the end of this debacle, two especially heinous scouts rammed our canoe, sending Jeremy and I into the water one last time. As they glided by, snickering, I was encouraged to try to earn a “Wilderness Dentistry” merit badge. You know, the one where you extract a scout’s teeth with a canoe paddle. 

     Jeremy and I successfully steered our vessel to the canoe landing, mercifully ending our journey. The two miscreants who had sent us into the water during the home stretch of the expedition, stood on the shore, still snickering, and pointing us. In my mind, I had moved on from the dentistry merit badge. Because I thought that action would lead to “Spend A Night Behind Bars” badge. Not wanting that, I instead settled for the one award I had certainly earned, “Creative Use Of Cuss Words”.